Is Your Husband On The Rooftop?(Pt I)

Marriageafterhisheart's Blog

My unscripted journey as I transition into my new role as a Godly wife and mother…..

Is Your Husband On The Rooftop?(Pt I)

April 25, 2011 by Jamala'smarriageafterhisheart

I don’t mean this series of posts to be a bash on women, one because I don’t bash on myself, and two because bashing women is so un-lady like and doesn’t make God to happy at all. I really wrote this series out of my private journal and about my own private journey and reflection on issues that I am plagued with. 

We women are bossy by nature; it is a skill that I believe can manifest itself as early as infancy.  As our children especially our daughters are able to form communication skills they can be bossy even in their cries and wailing! My Graci is two now, and she is a mother hen in the making. When she was able to babble, she babbled in this fussing language with this very intense facial expression down to the crease in the brow that I sometimes see in my mirror. When little sister came along, it intensified. When big sisters are being admonished, I can hardly get the words out without laughing at my little pall parrot who out talks me while mimicking me in the background.  At the daycare she keeps everyone on the straight and narrow, she is the class tattle tale, the one who will point her finger and babble the class rules, in the way that she has heard the class rules given over and over again. Sadly,I know exactly where she gets it from, and as much as it hurts, this apple tree has four little apples who just fell straight from the branch to the ground next to the root. I often say to Mark that I feel sorry for her future husband, and in my saying those very words I started feeling sorry for mine.

We do have a right to be bossy sometimes. It comes with motherhood, and managing our homes, BUT it really doesn’t apply to managing our husbands. OUCH! Honestly, we shouldn’t even be managing them. DOUBLE OUCH!  I often joke with people that I hate going on family vacations because I can’t enjoy them for all the duties of managing the vacation.  I normally plan the vacation, the itinerary, the budget, the packing and all that comes along with it.  When we are going on vacation, I am the one packing everything in the bag, keeping up with everyone’s stuff, making sure everyone gets fed, keeping a stern eagle eye out for my wanderer awayers, and just plain old managing the fun. I am the front line manager and if you have ever been in management professionally, the front line manager is usually the fall guy and the point man.  When I am in manager mode, I tend to forget that Mark is CEO of Thomas and Company. I tend not to stay in my place, and as most managers do when things go wrong   I get mad at upper management.

The difference for me is that I can tell upper management what I really think. I don’t have to fill out a comment card, or wait for an employee appreciation survey because I can’t get fired! Or can I?   I am not supposed to, because my job is life long, it is till I die but I can get fired before I die even if it’s not rightfully so. In other words, I can make my husband leave me and choose another manager.  Just because it’s not right for him to leave me for being bossy doesn’t mean it can’t happen; and it doesn’t mean I can be bossy, brawling, contentious, and so repetitive that I sound like continual drops of rain because its wrong for him to leave me.TRIPLE OUCH!!

I know there are some who feel my thinking is a bit extreme and off the map, but King Solomon in all his God-given wisdom says things a lot less tactful than I do and has left eight, count them, eight whole scriptures to back me up. Is it wrong for a man to leave his wife for something as simple as being bossy, argumentative, nagging, and mean? YES it most certainly is. But even the bible lends a sympathetic ear to such men who live with such women. It’s so important that two of the scriptures are basically the same and three are only verses and a couple chapters apart.

1.  Proverbs 9:13
   A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing
2. Proverbs 11:22
   As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
3. Proverbs 12:4
   A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
4. Proverbs 14:1
   Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
5. Proverbs 21:9
   It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
6. Proverbs 21:19
   It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
7. Proverbs 25:24
   It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
8. Proverbs 27:15
   A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

I mean really,  for the Almighty to give Solomon the wisdom to write the proverbs that it is better for a man to live on the roof of a house, or in the wilderness than with a angry, bossy, argumentative woman says something.  How bad can she be for him to rather live in the stinking wilderness with wild untamed things?  To think that a wife’s behavior could be so annoying that her husband would be better off with wild animals in the wilderness, or on the top of his house than inside the house with her speaks volumes to me and shakes me to my very core. And, it still holds true to this day and age.  Men may not be on the virtual roof top, but they scurry off to their game rooms, or the garage, or “man caves” to escape their wives. Instead of going off to the wilderness, they go out into the world which in my eyes is worse.  They have bars, clubs, societies,  boys nights and even WORK that they escape to and the inhabitants of such places can be worse than wild animals. As a matter of fact, there are even some wild animals that have more loyalty and discretion than some temptations that are out there lurking to lure our husbands. I will cut off here and create a Part II post for brevity’s sake.  Stay Blessed and encouraged!